Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events a person can go through in their life. However, when a marriage breaks up, it gives the two people involved an opportunity to rediscover themselves as individuals. Yes, divorce is painful, but pain is a sign of growth. With enough support and the right mindset, a person going through the end of their marriage can wake up one day and see that such a difficult decision was for the best in the end.
Divorce can help a person grow up a little more. After a divorce, a person has to buckle down and take care of themselves. Over time, living independently helps build confidence, and it gives the person a healthier perspective on their choices, emotions and actions. Losing everything after a divorce instills gratitude in what you get to hold onto. Furthermore, separating can help develop empathy, responsibility and humility. Surviving tough life experiences like divorce also makes a person stronger, more aware and wiser for all the pain they have to go through.
While it’s quite possible for life to change for the better post-divorce, there is still a period of time where those involved have to re-learn how to live without a significant other. Self-care is important during this chapter of life. If you don’t take care of yourself, you are more likely to fall into bad habits that can lead to serious problems, like depression.
Practice Mindfulness
Divorce can raise a lot of questions about both the past and the future. You may wonder what could have been done or what could have been avoided to prevent the split, or perhaps you’re more plagued by the questions of the unknown and worry about what the future holds. Holding onto these questions gives them too much validity and prevents you from living in the present.
Practicing mindfulness in your day-to-day life won’t eliminate those questions of “what if” or “what will be.” However, over time, a mindfulness practice can help you stay more in the moment, reducing anxieties regarding things beyond your control. You’ll learn to appreciate the gifts life provides and live for today rather than bogging yourself down with hypotheticals.
Mindfulness meditation is a great way to exercise this important life skill. But those who feel averse to meditation can still find ways to practice mindfulness in a way that benefits them without having to sit cross-legged for 20 minutes.
- Breathe deep and steady breaths, counting each exhale as you go.
- Try square breathing if you find yourself losing count easily.
- Progressive muscle relaxation exercises promote mindfulness while releasing tension.
- Focus on each sense, one at a time, with nonjudgmental attention.
- Try a moving meditation practice like yoga, tai chi, or aikido.
- Just about any kind of exercise can serve as a type of moving meditation. Go for a run, lift weights or swim laps at a local pool while focusing on the task at hand and how your body responds.
Addressing Sleep Issues
It’s not unusual for a person to experience sleep problems after a divorce. Left unaddressed, sleep deprivation can lead to serious mental and physical health issues down the road. That’s why it is so important to correct imbalances and make lifestyle changes that promote healthy sleep.
- Make sure your mattress suits your sleep type. Certain mattresses are made specifically for side sleepers, back sleepers, stomach sleepers, those with back pain, and more.
- Make sure your body is sufficiently tired by the end of the day by implementing a daily exercise regimen that helps relieve anxiety and promotes better sleep.
- Avoid heavy, fatty and spicy food before bed. Eat light dinners, and avoid caffeine and alcohol in the hours leading up to sleep.
- If anxious thoughts race through your head as you lie in bed at night, try clearing your mind by reading, listening to a guided meditation, or counting your breaths.
- Tart cherry juice has many health benefits and sleep-friendly compounds, including melatonin, a hormone that aids in sleepiness. It has been studied for its role in keeping insomnia at bay. Of course, you should always talk to a doctor about your diet.
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Going through a divorce is difficult, but it’s best to view this tough time as an opportunity for growth. Stay out of your head and live in the present by committing to mindfulness practices.